As adults, most of us think we know to distinguish the right from the wrong. Most of us learn this skill of discriminating between the good and the bad, right and the wrong, etc. from our immediate families, schools, society in which we were raised, and so on. For many people, their religious texts also prescribe certain actions as right and certain others as wrong. All of these influences collectively shape our attitudes and concepts towards “Right and Wrong”.

By and large, we humans tend to get attached to our ideas and concepts. So, over a period of time, we develop our own concepts of right / wrong, good / bad, correct / incorrect and so on. This attachment does not allow us to get a bird’s eye view of a situation. Instead, we indulge in heated arguments to prove why our stand / position on particular topic is right and all others are wrong, isn’t it? This is what forms the bulk of the arguments between people, communities and even countries. Often, our relationships get strained due to such attachments and arguments. What happens with such attachments is that our vision is blinded by what we think is right rather than what is really right in a given situation.

All this is fine to some extent. However, you might be surprised to know that there is nothing as absolutely Right and absolutely wrong. For example, isn’t it wrong to kill a person or an animal? Yes, it is wrong, but not in all situations. When a gun wielding soldier patrolling the border of a country, kills an illegal intruder, he is not considered as doing wrong. Why? Because it is his duty to protect the country & it’s assets, which is what he is doing, even if killing is part of his mandate. 

 

What can we learn from this discussion?

1.) Whatever is happening is neither good nor bad, right / wrong, but it is we who are attaching meanings to each situation and drawing conclusions. 

2.) Everything in this universe is dependently arising – that is every thought, word, deed and decision, are dependent on a variety of factors and have consequences. 

3.) Every story / situation has two or more sides. Listen to all of them, before drawing your conclusions. Then you are more likely to make the right decisions that will benefit you and not harm others. 

4.) Our experience of life depends on our perception of things, people and places. E.g. If you hold one person in a very high position in your mind, then you are less likely to notice his / her short comings / faults / limitations, etc., because you are so enamoured by that person. 

In conclusion, we must develop the art of moving away from getting attached to our own ideas / concepts and learn to become Independent Observers – people who will dispassionately watch life situations to learn lessons out of them, rather than get attached to our ideas. Then, and only then, you will be able to take charge of your life and lead it in the direction of your choice. 

“Credit: This post is shared with insights from Subhasree Yuvakumar, CEO of CALM LLP, a leader in driving communication culture shifts through Parallel & Lateral Thinking.”